One thing I am not going to miss once my girls are toilet-trained are the nappy changes. At the moment I have two girls in nappies and even though I’m a plumber and should be used to crap… nappies and the contents of them can often have me gagging and repulsed by the sight and smell. I’m sure I’m not the only mum that has wished away the nappy changing years. Here are 10 moments I won’t miss about changing nappies.

 1. Poo explosions. Poonamis. Number threes. Whatever your call them, it’s an explosion of poo which creates a deep mustard stain on the onesie your baby is wearing. Sometimes you’re overwhelmed on where to clean first because the poo seems to go everywhere. The worst poonami I had seeped up to my daughter’s shoulders. Not sure what was in the breastmilk that day.

2. You decide to change your newborn’s nappy on the bed, only to have them wee with the nappy off and resulting in a change of sheets late at night. This happened to me when I was in hospital and the midwife was not impressed that she had to change the sheets on my bed.

3. Your newborn is rugged up and wakes for their midnight feed. You scoop them up only to discover their nappy and bedding is wet from a leaking nappy. You wake your bubba up as you change them into a new nappy and new clothes.

4. The surprise wee fountain. Don’t be fooled if you have a boy or girl. The moment you take that nappy off and they decide to wee, make sure you close your mouth.

5. Boulder roll. You undo your baby’s nappy and it’s a round hard nugget which rolls out of the nappy and onto the floor.

6. You check the top of your toddlers nappy to see if they’ve done a number two and that index finger slides into said number two because your toddler has done an epic poo that has squeezed to the top of the nappy.

7. When your baby won’t keep still while changing said pooey nappy and they end up getting poo on their toes and kicking the nappy to the floor which always lands contents first on the carpet floor.

8. Nappy fasteners that decide to rip off. I hate that!

9. You go out to the shops and have to use the parent room which smells like 20 dead nappies that haven’t been wrapped in nappy bags. You go to change your baby’s nappy and realize you forgot to replace the wipes in your nappy bag. Or you don’t have a spare nappy.

10. When your fingers come into contact with the poo on your baby’s bottom instead of the wipe.

I love caring for my babes and changing their nappies is just part of the deal of having a baby, but I’m looking forward to the day all my girls are toilet-trained. And the money that is saved from buying boxes of nappies and wipes. Although I’m told the wipes situation doesn’t cease, it just decreases.

Tell us a funny nappy story. Can you relate to any or all of the above?