In the lead up to both of our boys births, we knew they were always going to arrive early.  I was prepared for it – well as much as you can be anyway! I knew I was going to feel helpless and there wasn’t going to be a lot I could do for them in those early days and weeks.  I knew I was not going to have a ‘normal’ birthing experience like you see on tv, I wasn’t going to be able to hold my boys as soon as they were born.  I knew I would only catch a quick glimpse of them before they were whisked away firstly into the resus room and then onto the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), with my husband following close behind.

I also knew I wasn’t going to be able to breastfeed them initially, but what I did know was that I wanted to be able to breastfeed them eventually, when they were ready. To be honest, at a time when I felt so helpless, I at least felt useful expressing my milk so that when they were eventually strong enough it would be there for them.  Soon after leaving recovery and going back to my hospital room after both their births, I began hand expressing and within a few days I moved on to using a breast pump to help me express that precious early colostrum and milk which was so important for the boys. In no way could my early breastfeeding days be considered ‘normal’ I would keep meticulous notes of what time I expressed, how long for and most importantly how much milk I was producing.  I celebrated the moment when I ‘graduated’ from collecting milk in a 2ml syringe and moved to a larger one and again when I produced more than 10ml in one session.

I developed a close relationship with my Medela Breast Pumps (yes, you read that correctly, I have two of their ‘swing’ pumps). We purchased a Single Medela Breast Pump while I was in hospital with our Big Boy, and with the wonderful wisdom of hindsight I purchased a second single pump prior to the arrival of our baby boy, just so I could double pump at home. The concept of double pumping made me a little uncomfortable to begin with, however when I saw just how much more milk I was able to express in less time I quickly came around to the idea. There is also research which backs this up: you express 18% more milk during each session when you double pump, so when you need to be ‘hooked up’ to a pump every few hours, anything you an do to reduce the time is a win!

Cuddles with our little man when he was 3 weeks old (33 weeks corrected) with my trusty pump in the background.

When the time came to start introducing feeds, I experienced similar  journeys with both of the boys.  Both started to ‘nuzzle’ when they were around 33 weeks old and thankfully they both had great latches and we never had attachment issues, however they were both were VERY slow feeders. They liked to take their time and it wasn’t uncommon for feeds to last up to an hour and a half.  With our eldest boy, I would often doubt myself, surely I mustn’t be producing enough milk if it was taking so long for our baby to be satisfied from a feed, however this is completely ‘normal’ and the ‘average’ length of a ‘normal’ breastfeed is anywhere between 12 – 67 minutes!   Research completed by Medela has also found that on average boys drink more than girls: 831ml vs 755ml – which explains a lot!

Moving from expressing to breastfeeding with both the boys also came with the added worry of how much milk the boys were actually getting with each feed.  They  both came home just on 36 weeks (6 weeks & 4 weeks old respectively) and I found it difficult each time trusting my instinct that they were in fact getting enough milk, particularly after weeks of feeds being measured and timed.  While in hospital they had both been on strict 3 hourly feed schedules – this lasted at home for just a week each time before they begin to demand more feeds – again the research shows that there is no ‘normal’ when it comes to how often a baby feeds throughout the day, with babies regularly feeding anywhere from 4 – 13 times a day, and they can also take anywhere from 54 – 234ml during each feed.  The amount my boys were getting during each feed was always a source of anxiety for me.  Both were slow putting on weight and I felt the pressure to be giving them everything that they needed to thrive after such an early and traumatic start to life.

A milk drunk little man, our youngest little boy at 5 weeks old – 37 weeks corrected.

I learnt to trust my instincts, particularly the second time around.  With our last baby, my pumps helped me to survive FOUR episodes of mastitis and countless blocked ducts along the way.  I continued to express and bottle feed when our baby boy just wasn’t putting on any weight, and even when he started to and the bottles stopped, I continued expressing to build up a frozen supply as by that time expressing was part of my ‘normal’.

It’s a bit of a love/hate relationship between myself and my trusty pumps.  I love that they have allowed me to breastfeed both of our boys, I love they reliability and portability, I have pumped in the car, parents rooms, doctor waiting rooms and even at the airport!  I will admit when I finally packed them away just a couple of months ago, I was filled with a sense of relief I no longer needed to attach myself to these things, but also sadness that the breastfeeding journey with our youngest boy was now over.

Image from Medela Australia

I know my breastfeeding experiences would never fit anyones idea of normal and that’s why I think it’s important for us to share our challenges and successes when it comes to breastfeeding with other Mums out there. The breastfeeding relationship between every Mum and her baby is unique , there is no correct number of times, or for how long we need to feed our babies, and what works at the beginning will change over time as our bubs take what they need depending on their development.