Getting to Know Her All over Again – Quality Time with Your Second Born Child
With my eldest, my Hurricane, starting and rockin rollin his way into Kindy, I was met, of course, with the surge of mixed emotions – letting go, saying goodbye, and ending a part of a monumental chapter in parenting. He’s starting school and that’s wonderful. It’s exhilarating and exciting. But it is a new journey, for both of us, that is going to rocket by in a flash so fast! What I wasn’t prepared for, however, was the sudden and special chapter I was about to start writing with my daughter, my second born, my Little Ray of Sunshine.
Up until now this intensely vibrant, 18 month old, little pocket rocket of a girl has, for the most part, been swept up in the wake of the Hurricanes storm, thrown in amongst the chaos and the crazy, adding to the magnitude, rambunctiousness and noise. The curse or the blessing, whichever way you like to perceive it, the second child is born into an instant identity of sharing. Attention now never given in full like with the first as you are still juggling and tackling the dynamics of a duo. Their experience and understanding of a solely attentive parent, is rare and few and far between. Their reality is coupled, more often than not, with a bigger, noisier and certainly more demanding, perpetually moving toddler. It’s not that they are second best its simply that by right of birth, they are, from the beginning, competing against an older sibling, giving them a different outlook, acceptance, resilience and concept of space, boundaries and relationships compared to the first. It is all different and wonderful however you look at it!
It wasn’t until this time of transition, a time of letting go of the first and being gifted with more and extra time with the second that it struck me, sadly and much to my utter disbelief, I don’t know her intimately and with complexity like I know my son. I am, to my delight, meeting and getting to know my daughter all over again! She in the same moment is meeting and getting to know me as a mum who is solely and completely hers, and boy is she loving it!
Our days are now a magical adventure all our own. We are learning to work together, balancing our ups and downs. We are connecting and we are meeting, neutral and equal, eager to know, to understand, to challenge and to accept each other’s kinks and quirks. We laugh, wow do we laugh, her wicked sense of humor beaming, able to proudly take center stage. We see, clearly and focused and together, the interests, the wonders, the likes and the loves of the world around her.
She is funny, she is vivacious, she is wide eyed and wondering. Seeing her firsts and making discoveries. She is fierce, she is determined, she is quick tempered but easily rectified. She is stubborn, she is sincere, she cares openly and with grace. She is perceptive and engaging, eager and excited to tackle and climb every height. She is amazing and unfolding before me with fresh and seeking eyes.
We take for granted the extra time and the singular dynamics we have with our first. It is a special time, a selfish time, all encompassing and narrow in its view. The world is rotating, tilting, spinning on its axis all for the two of you and instantly your bond is cemented in a symbiotic dance that will always define them. They had us all to themselves. As an eldest child I know that bond, still do this day. Even as an adult I crave and demand one on one time with my parents, whereas my younger sister has always happily accommodated a shared family unit. It is our experiences with our interactions that shape us, and now, thankful, blessed and lucky to be able to, I am eating up every moment I get to form that same relationship and connection with my second, my daughter, my little ray of sunshine.
Seeing her raging, wild and magnificently all in her own!
