Dad’s Awesomely Honest Account of His Wife Giving Birth Will Have You in Stitches!
DadMum, stop it! Can this man get anymore amazing? My ovaries quite literally scream with every post, not just for his brutal honesty about the highs and lows of parenting but ultimately for his complete and utter devotion, support and love for his wife. I’ve actually been following Brad Kearns, aka DadMum, aka champion for women and stay at home parents alike, father of two from New South Wales, since his humble beginnings. His original hilariously raw account of life as the sudden stay at home dad after his beautiful wife unexpectedly and horrifyingly became ill resulting in an extended, indefinite stay in hospital, took the internet by storm! His brutally funny and honest commentary of the ups, downs, highs, lows and unblemished praises of stay at home parents had women everywhere, including me, singing Hallelujah!
However, it’s his latest post on the reality of childbirth that has the internet in a side splitting spin! Brad posted a touching message about his wife giving birth to his Facebook page on Monday. His high intensity, smack in the face recount has parents everywhere cheering “I hear that”!
“I’ve always thought of myself as pretty cool under pressure. But the first time I got that call that my wife’s waters had broken, something changed. The excitement of almost being a dad went straight out the window because holy f*ck, a tiny human was about to come out of my wife,” Brad writes.
Capturing the intense state of panic most parents fly into, the anxiety and white knuckled terror childbirth induces in that moment, we all know that childbirth is a nautural every day occurrence but when you are in it, no one, not anyone, in your mind has ever experienced anything quite like it. He describes the bewildered frustration of encountering composed hospital workers by saying, “old lady casually opens the door like it’s a book club meeting and I’m 20 minutes early. Like she was already angry at me because she had to put down her tea. F*ck out of my way woman, my wife is having a baby!” Dam straight! If you’re not panicking there’s something wrong with you because nothing absolutely nothing will prepare for what’s about to happen next.
Going into detail about the cocky confidence and deluded expertise we posses from attending pre birthing classes, Brad goes on to admit what we’ve all be wanting to say, we’ve got no F#*king clue !
“When your wife breaks your arm and demands an epidural with a demon-possessed voice, and it’s too late to administer… You’re fucked. I’m just going to put it out there and say that those classes didn’t teach me shit all. Why did we watch that stupid 1980’s video where a woman pops this kid out like a morning poo. We should have been watching the fucking Exorcism of Emily Rose. I would have at least known what to expect. I would have taken a vial of holy water just in case.” Holy water? Bless isn’t he sweet? It would have taken a few silver bullets and a possible stake to the heart from what my husband can recollect!
Yet despite all the trauma, terror and Hollywood style dramatics, our hero, our DadMum finishes with one final thought, beautiful in its simplicity, that “Childbirth is actually amazing. I don’t get how they even go through that?” And ain’t that the truth!
It is profound that it takes a man to give women a voice but in his own awesome way DadMum is painting an incredibly honest, down to earth and real picture that we’ve all been sketching for a long time, perhaps we were just using the wrong palette? Thank you for seeing us DadMum, thank you for your truth, thank you for your wicked sense of humor and thank you for telling it how is!
