Dear Husband, I love you but WTF?
Now don’t get me wrong. From the get-go let’s just affirm that yes I love my hubby and all his irritating flaws. This is by no means a man bashing article just a simple spotlight, maybe a reflection or even more so a gentle nudge to most of the male species highlighting the overlooked, unbeknown yet critical, tiny and completely catastrophic things you do that are ultimately sending me over the edge ! Cue rant…
1. Arrival home from work and subsequent stripping of ones clothing down the hall…husband WTF?
I realise you go off to work all day to keep this family running but our house is technically my house and while you are earning the dollars I’m running this place like a tight ship! You may have noticed these inspiring homewares known as LAUNDRY BASKETS, while they have been fabulously styled these are not ornamental and not for show, they are fully functioning, strategically placed portals for dirty, sweaty gear. While they look pretty there is a clever purpose behind that, to hide the filth being thrown into them! So I appreciate you’ve had a big day, you want to shrug off the stresses, relax and get comfy but for the love of my sanity work on your aim!
2. I appreciate and love that you’ve taken your dirty dishes to the sink but is there any chance you could aim that little bit lower and get them in the DISH WASHER?!…husband WTF?
This baffles me beyond belief! I don’t understand how you can make the effort to already get up off the couch, gather all the dishes, plod on into the kitchen but then you fall short of making it into the dishwasher! And don’t you dare tell me you’re “leaving them there ready to be rinsed.” T?hat’s opening up a whole other can of worms! Visualise that final sprint to the try line, ball tucked in snug under your arm, muscles pumping, reaching for the final moment of victory, only to have your legs slammed and snapped out from underneath you just at the end, hopes and dreams scattered like debris, gutted, disappointed…that’s me every time I see your coffee stained mug sitting on the sink above the machine.
3. Why did we install towel racks in the bathroom if you insist on hanging your dripping, damp towel on the DOOR?!…husband WTF?
Face, palm, smack…what is this? I cant even! What is the rationalisation behind this concept? How is the door more effective than a towel rack when its sole purpose in life is to dry towels! I’ll give you this, it makes a really effective door stop and has spared our children many, many a slammed, squished finger but I am yet to see its towel drying properties! What makes it worse is you don’t just limit it to the bathroom door, I find them hanging and dripping from the corner of every door, including the wardrobes, every door in the house !
4. Wet bath mat on the floor…need I say more?…husband WTF?
Ugh! Just copy and paste point 3! It will not dry on the floor…period!
5. Last but certainly not least, are we collecting empty toilet rolls? Did I miss that memo?…husband WTF?
This is my clear favourite! I did not realise I had married a hoarder. That is the only explanation I can accept for you wanting to keep empty toilet rolls on the holder, by the toilet and on top of the cabinet instead of simply putting them in the bin! I’ve even left you a smaller model bin toilet adjacent for this exact purpose! It’s super cute too when you leave the empty roll with just one sheet of paper on it. It gets me every time. If only women could just give it a shake like men do and carry on but no, sadly no husband. I, like all women, have a need for paper to cleanse and wipe, so to avoid me scurrying like a crab with my pants around my ankles desperately grabbing at the hidden full and fresh roll without leaving droplets. Would it be at all possible to replace the used toilet roll and bin the old? Just saying!
Despite all of that, you go alright husband. I love when I find you in the kitchen making us a surprise dinner. I love hearing the kids giggling in hysterics through the newest adventure you have with them playing. I love how they run with intense joy and excitement when they hear your keys in the door. I love the knowing hug you give me and pull me in when its getting too much. I love how you give up your time with me and the kids to keep us going. I love how you volunteer to sleep on the couch when our little fella demands that extra bit of reassurance in our bed and I love more than anything that you put up with my rants, my nagging and my crazy, even if it has been these things that lead to it!
