Positive Co-Parenting: A Mum Thanks Her Ex’s Girlfriend for Being a Fantastic “Bonus Mum” to Her Daughter

When Brittney Johnson thanked her ex’s girlfriend for being an amazing co-parent to her daughter on Facebook, she didn’t expect the post to get as much attention as it did.

The viral post has been heralded as co-parenting done right – an example for all blended families to aspire to.

In a world where co-parenting is the norm for many family situations, not everyone can get along. And often it’s the child that suffers the most.

But Brittney believes it’s important for co-parents to get along in order for the happiness of the child.

When parents separate, it can be a tough time on everyone, but when one of the ex’s partner up with someone new, it can be nerve-racking to meet the new partner and see how they will treat the children.

Some partners will be judged if they try to treat the child as their own. But Brittney asks, why cause unnecessary friction? That’s the best outcome for any co-parenting situation – for the co-parent to love and treat your child as their own.

Brittney’s full post is here:

To all of the mothers out there who throw a fit when another woman treats your child as her own: why isn’t that exactly what you want?

I prayed one night for the type of woman my daughter’s father would be with, knowing that she would be raised in two homes.

Kayla has been a gift of so much more than I could have hoped for. She started nursing school and Payton has been infatuated ever since. So Kayla ordered a pair of mini scrubs for her to match.

Let me tell you, I’m raising a strong girl, a smart girl and a sweet girl. And I want nothing more than for her to be surrounded with role models who are exactly that. Thank you Kayla for showing Payton how to chase her dreams, how to work hard and stay up late to study for a test. Thank you for still making time to ride her bike with her and make her mac and cheese even in one of the stressful times of your life. You’re a true role model and an amazing bonus mom and we are so proud of you!

If you’re co-parenting, and seeing your child doing things like this doesn’t bring a smile to your face, reconsider what’s truly best for your child. Payton has more people to love her this way, and what more could a mother ever want for her child? Being best friends with me AND being best friends with Kayla, is exactly where P deserves to be.

It takes a village, and I happen to love mine. — with Kayla Imhoff.

Brittney Johnson’s daughter Payton, was only 2 when she was taken to a park to meet with her dad’s new girlfriend, Kayla Imhoff.

From there, Brittney came to love Kayla. There was no jealousy, anger, competition or judgement.

It was one mum, and one co-mum, wanting the best for Payton.

Brittney told Babble, that while it was unsettling meeting Payton’s potential ‘bonus parent’, she was determined to keep an open mind.

“My first impression of Kayla was that she was sweet, and brave for deciding to meet Charlie’s daughter,” she says. “Being in a relationship with someone who has a child can be daunting; knowing that things can get complicated. I think it takes a special person to decide to stick around anyway.”

“My child is my world, and when I realized that Kayla’s interest was to treat Payton as her own, it was actually a huge relief for me,” Johnson admits. “You worry about the kind of people that your child will meet or look up to, or how they will be treated when you aren’t around. But once I knew that she was well cared for even when I wasn’t there, it got a lot easier.”

The unique friendship Brittney and Kayla have made since that first meeting can be seen as unusual as it’s not often a common storyline between parents and their ex’s new partners.

But both agree it comes down to perspective and having an open mind about the situation and seeing where it will take you.

Brittney says, “I came into it thinking ‘if my daughter loves you, then I do too’. And my advice to other parents in similar situations is to ask your child what would make them happiest; if they want to spend time with both of you, then let them do it. Embrace that there’s a bonus parent who loves your child, because they are not your competition. Every person deserves love, so don’t take someone away from them out of bitterness, envy, or hatred. Show them what love is and how to treat people so they never doubt that they are loved.”

Brittney’s post went viral since after it was published last Wednesday.

The post has received over 3.7k comments of support.

One commenter wrote, “Congrats! To you and your family for all taking a mature stand, I hope more parents follow your footsteps. Your daughter will be a better person, and after all isn’t that what it’s about?”

While another said,“This is a wonderful, admiring story of how to be selfless and be there for the children. They feel the love and they can feel the dislike that most moms feel about this situation. Just be proud that the other person loves and wants the best for that child just like you do. I would rather that other person to love my child than to dislike my child.”

Thank you ladies for being an example and inspiring others to co-parent in a similar fashion.