Man Says His Wife Bullied Him Into Naming His Daughter Something He Didn’t Want – But Did She?
Naming your child can be one of parenting’s hardest decisions. Most couples opt for a veto system – with any potential names must being agreed to via a “two yeses and one no” scenario. If one person says no, then that name is officially off the table.
But what happens when one person stubbornly insists on a specific name and won’t hear of any other suggestions until it is too late?
This is the scenario that happened recently to a new mum who asked Reddit for advice. Her husband says she bullied him into naming his daughter something he didn’t like or agree to, but he had plenty of time to come up with something different. Instead, he opted to steadfastly oppose any suggestions on her part in favour of his mother’s old fashioned name.
She writes:
My husband and I were expecting our first child, a girl. A few years ago, he lost his mum. Now, I loved his mum but she had a very “grandma” sounding name. Think Mildred or Ethel. My husband suggested we name our daughter that. I said while I got the sentimental value, I didn’t like it for our daughter’s name. I suggested it as a middle name as a compromise and he said no, no, it should be her first name. I said no, names should have a two yes, one no rule. But I was more than happy to give her the name as a middle.
Conversations about names became a fight for months. He’d veto any name I picked: classic, modern, a nickname of his mum’s name but still not the full one. It wasn’t what he wanted.
I give birth and he’s there. All is calm and we’re thrilled. He says something about naming her after his mum again and I just don’t answer. Instead, later when asked, I said it was “Lily (his mum’s name as a middle)”. He needed to sign off on it and got pissed when he saw what I did. I told him that I wouldn’t sign off on his mum’s name being the baby’s first name and that I gave him ample time to help me pick something else. He reluctantly signed it and does call her Lily.
However, he does still (6 months later) say I bullied him into naming our daughter something he didn’t want. I asked how it was any different than what he tried to do to me when I was freshly hormonal and had just given birth.
Am I in the wrong here?
It really should be up to both of the parents to select their baby’s name, but what can you do when one of them refuses to consider any other name? The baby needed a name and her mother gave her one while taking her husband’s wishes into consideration. I think that’s a fantastic compromise considering the circumstances!
Most of the responses echoed these sentiments, but the very best one ended with these amazing words:
“He can stop sooking and accept that the baby needed a name and the mum gave her one. Damn, one delivery two babies, huh?”
I think to use it as middle name is a good sentimental idea but not an old fashioned name that your daughter might hate or certainly resent your husband’s choice.
My Mum had to have treatment immediately after the birth of her baby. She was basically only semi-conscious for a couple of days. The nurses told my Mum they loved the baby’s name. The Dad had put it in the paper. My Mum had agreed to the name as a middle name.Imagine calling out your child’s name and having up to 3 neighbours responding. The Birth Certificate hadn’t even been signed. Consequently he was called by his middle name until High School. At least all the neighbours with the first name had moved away by then