Emily Bingham, a freelance writer from Michigan, posted a random ultrasound photo alongside a rant that ‘people’s reproductive plans are none of your business’, which has gone viral, being shared over 30,000 times on Facebook.
Bingham started her rant with ‘Now that I got your attention with this random ultrasound photo… this is just a friendly P.S.A. [public service announcement] that people’s reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business.’
The post was unanimously agreed with by friends, family and complete strangers who resonated with the rant.
Emily demanded people to stop asking anyone about their plans to start or expand their family. In a separate comment she shared the pain a close friend had to endure as she struggled through fertility treatment for a year and was able to conceive her son. A month after her friend had her baby, she was asked when No. 2 would be arriving.
Emily suggests rather than asking about a person’s reproduction plans, it would be better to ask what they’re excited about or what was the best part of their day?
Emily explains ‘You don’t know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues.
‘You don’t know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn’t right.
‘You don’t know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids.’
The viral post was met with comments that were in agreeance to her stance.
One commenter wrote: ‘Can I like this a million times?’
Emily concluded: ‘If a person wants to let you in on something as personal as their plans to have or not have children, they will tell you.
Here is Emily’s full post as captured from her Facebook page.
Hey everyone!!! Now that I got your attention with this RANDOM ULTRASOUND PHOTO I grabbed from a Google image search, this is just a friendly P.S.A. that people’s reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
Before you ask the young married couple that has been together for seemingly forever when they are finally gonna start a family … before you ask the parents of an only-child toddler when a Little Brother or Little Sister will be in the works … before you ask a single 30-something if/when s/he plans on having children because, you know, clock’s ticking … just stop. Please stop.
You don’t know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues. You don’t know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn’t right. You don’t know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids.
You don’t know who has decided it’s not for them right now, or not for them ever. You don’t know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration.
Sure, for some people those questions may not cause any fraught feelings — but I can tell you, from my own experiences and hearing about many friends’ experiences — it more than likely does.
Bottom line: Whether you are a wanna-be grandparent or a well-intentioned friend or family member or a nosy neighbor, it’s absolutely none of your business. Ask someone what they’re excited about right now. Ask them what the best part of their day was.
If a person wants to let you in on something as personal as their plans to have or not have children, they will tell you. If you’re curious, just sit back and wait and let them do so by their own choosing, if and when they are ready.
What do you think? Should people stop asking each other questions about their reproduction intentions or is it just a harmless way to have a conversation with someone?
