Read This Mum’s Viral Post to Your Kids. It Will Empower Them to be Who They Are
Some of the most basic lessons in manners that parents teach their children from an early age are when to use “please”, “thank you,” and “I’m sorry.” Yet, saying sorry has become habit for most kids – even adults, when they feel as if they are obliging someone with their presence or demands.
A mum has written an open letter to her kinder-aged daughter, sharing 13 don’ts, including things her daughter doesn’t have to be sorry for or situations she can simply say ‘no thanks’ to.
The open letter, written by Toni Hammer, has gone viral on Facebook. It’s a post all parents need to read and impart to their children. It will empower all children to be who they are.
To my daughter,
Don’t apologize when someone else bumps into you.
Don’t say “sorry to be such a pain.” You’re not a pain. You’re a person with thoughts and feelings who deserves respect.
Don’t make up reasons as to why you can’t go out with a guy you don’t wanna go out with. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. A simple “no thanks” should be acceptable.
Don’t overthink what you eat in front of people. If you’re hungry, eat, and eat what you want. If you want pizza, don’t get a salad just because other people are around. Order the damn pizza.
Don’t keep your hair long to make someone else happy.
Don’t wear a dress if you don’t want to.
Don’t stay home because you don’t have anyone to go out with. Take yourself out. Have experiences by yourself and for yourself.
Don’t hold back your tears. Crying means you’re feeling something that needs to get out. It’s not a weakness. It’s being human.
Don’t smile because someone told you to.
Don’t be afraid to laugh at your own jokes.
Don’t say “yes” to be polite. Say “no” because it’s your life.
Don’t hide your opinions. Speak up and speak loudly. You should be heard.
Don’t apologize for being who you are. Be brave and bold and beautiful. Be unapologetically you.
The post has been shared on Facebook over 5000 times and has received over 7000 reactions.
The comments underneath the post were supportive and thankful for Toni’s post.
One commenter wrote, “So good. My hubby said I need to remind myself of these things too!”
While another wrote, “When I was young, my dad was always telling me to stop apologizing so much…and now I think I’m finally starting to understand. To be more confident, to own who I am and what I feel…I need to teach this to my girls–and keep teaching it to myself!”
Yet some felt the ‘don’ts could have been changed to reflect more positively with do’s.
“Toni, why not turn this into a positive encouragement for your daughter to become a strong, yet thoughtful and compassionate person? This world is already filled with selfish and unkind people. It is wonderful to see you guide your daughter toward self-determination, yet I think it could be done in a much more positive way, reinforcing kindness and compassion at the same time.”
Whether the letter can be reworded better or not, the message is clear and is stated in the last sentence:
“Don’t apologize for being who you are. Be brave and bold and beautiful. Be unapologetically you.”
And that’s something we all need to remember, including our children.