I have three daughters. Two who are as girly as they come, and one who can out skate your most testosterone filled boy. Because of this contrast, it always leads me to question the validity of society’s take on the word feminism.

In my opinion, feminism is allowing yourself to be whatever the hell you want to be, with no restrictions. This could mean a variety of options including equality in the workforce, even being prime minister if that’s the path you choose. Although where I feel the word feminism falls short in today’s society, is that it should also be able to include being made to feel that the choice to be a stay at home mum is a community supported one.

As the word feminism grows more and more into a powerful statement each and every day, why do I sometimes feel as though the word feminism plays down the importance of the stereotypical duties of females.

Why do I feel it plays down the importance of the stay at home mums and the women who relish in their home duties? Why do I feel as though it plays down the importance of women who are “stereotypical” by choice?

Statements such as “strong is the new beautiful”, always makes me question why strength and beauty need to be placed in the same category. What constitutes as weakness? High heels? Being skinny? Being a woman?

Why does real strength have to equate to the strength of men? Why can’t women be their own kind of strong?

That is a bullying approach to feminism. Worst thing about it? Is that it’s women doing it to women.

What happened to tolerance?

If a woman chooses to wear high heels, count calories and not pick up a barbel, has she failed at being a woman? Is she not strong?

If a woman chooses to stay at home to look after her family rather than pursue a demanding career, has she failed at being a feminist? Is she not just as accomplished as her husband’s female boss? Is she not as worthy? Should she not be just as respected? Can she not be a feminist and bake potatoes at the same time?

Are feminists only self important vocal people on social media? If a woman chooses to quietly voice her opinion, but voice it nonetheless, does she not count as part of the movement?

The male and female species are different for very important reasons.

In the past it was decided that one would be the hunter and gatherer while one would be the nurturer. Mainly because it worked, and mainly because men don’t have Fallopian tubes and can’t push babies out of their penis. So someone had to go look for food and it wasn’t going to be the person who actually could do those things. Therefore this decision was mostly that of a practical nature.

Time’s have since changed, for the better. Women are now celebrating their options in this world, and although still have a long way to go, have come so far in being recognised as important members of society.

Although in these times, I feel that we’ve place so much importance on “being whoever we want to be” and digging our high heels in so deep in order to smash glass ceilings (and rightly so), that we are inadvertently diminishing the role that a lot of women still play. And more importantly than that, a role that a lot of women still choose to play.

In my opinion, feminism is a choice. It is the freedom of choice.

It’s the freedom of being able to choose to play with a barbie doll without being frowned upon for letting down the female species. My daughters love to play with dolls. Is this wrong? Should I be building a bonfire and burning barbie at the stake? Or should I be encouraging their choices to explore their more nurturing side? Are they “stupid girls” as Pink suggests because they didn’t choose to play with the football? Is this the message I should be sending them?

It’s the freedom of cutting a little girl’s hair as short as a boy’s so it doesn’t fall in her face when she’s playing soccer. My third daughter does not like playing with dolls. She’d prefer to choose footballs and skateboards and anything dirt related. Is this the face of feminism? Should I hold this daughter on a higher pedestal than my other daughter’s because she laughs in the face of anything frilly? What makes her choices more valuable? Why is the opposite of what was stereo typically female, more validated by society these days?

Is there something wrong with the stereotype if a little girl chooses it?

When did one woman’s view on feminism rule out another woman’s? Isn’t that contradictory? Aren’t those double standards the exact opposite of what feminism stands for. The exact thing we are fighting against?

In my opinion, feminism is a choice. It is the freedom of choice. We’ve been chasing it for a while now.

Women today have come so far in their fight for equality. In my opinion, the only thing we are not dominating is the intolerance within our own people. The intolerance against each other. Intolerance for those who don’t fit in with our agenda’s or our views on what feminism should look like.

When women truly begin supporting other women, even when they don’t agree with their views, perhaps especially when they don’t agree with each other’s views, that’s when feminism works. When both women have the freedom to choose how to live and in turn let live, that’s when the word feminism will well and truly come in power.

If women finally unite as one team, we would actually be unstoppable. The fight would be over. We will have won.

Even with our heels on, if we choose to wear them.