When we become parents, we can sometimes focus on the sacrifice children make on our lives. Yet, it’s a role we happily step into because we love our children and would do anything for them.

One remarkable mother, who is no longer on this earth, made an incredible sacrifice to ensure her daughter experienced less heartache and more love.
Singer Joey Feek was that remarkable mum.

Image via This Life I Live

Joey and her husband Rory Feek had a daughter two years ago called Indiana, who was born with Down Syndrome. Soon after the birth, Joey was diagnosed with cervical cancer which turned terminal. Joey recently passed away this year on March 4, but she got to see Indy turn 2 in February which was a goal she set for herself when she found out she was terminally ill.

Rory documented the highs and lows of his wife’s diagnosis and her death on his blog, This Life I Live. On a recent post he shared how Joey loved Easter, and made a heartbreaking tribute to his late wife.

“I can’t help but think of my bride today. To remember all the Easters we’ve spent together over the years and what this morning would be like if she were still here with us. What it would mean to her to share Easter this year with our two-year-old. It would be so, so special.”

The focus of the blog post was on a scripture that many Christians hold dear, “He must become greater; I must become less,” and became the undercurrent message to Rory’s blog post. Rory explained that since his wife’s death, their daughter Indy has not once asked for Joey since she died and this was what Joey had wanted.

“Indy has not asked for her mama,” he wrote. “Not one single time since Joey’s been gone. It’s almost as if she hasn’t noticed that she’s not here. And that is so sad… and oh, so wonderful – all at the same time.”

When Joey Feek realized her life was going to be taken by the cancer, she decided to step back from mothering her child and become ‘less’, so her husband could be ‘more’ to Indy. It was her hope that Indy would transition to being without her mother easily after her mother’s death.

It seems, from Rory’s blog post admission, that Joey’s wishes had become fulfilled. Rory said his wife “started going against everything in her being that told her ‘time was short’ so hold her baby even tighter… and longer… and more… and instead – she handed the baby to me, and sat alone in a bed and watched and listened as my relationship with Indy grew…and hers lessoned. I still remember the day a few weeks later when I was sitting on the couch near Joey’s bed and Indy was playing on the floor at my feet and Joey looked over at me and said, ‘she needs you now… ‘. I looked at Joey and saw the look on her face and knew what she meant, and I wanted to cry. But she just smiled and said, ‘…it’s best this way honey’.”

Image via This Life I Live

Rory commended Joey on her strength to make such a decision. A selfless decision that has possibly protected the two year old from a grief so heartbreaking at a young age. There is no doubt that Indy will grieve for her mother and possibly more so when she understands what her mother did in order to protect her from the pain of losing her mother so early in life.

“I would’ve taken the low, easy road…the one that served me more. I would’ve tried to make the ties with our baby stronger and her love for me deeper so that she wouldn’t forget me… and in the end, probably left our baby wrecked with grief over the loss of the one person she loved and needed most. But not Joey. She let Indy fall more in love with me…and less in love with her. She carried the pain on her own shoulders, to try to keep it off of mine. And even more so, off of Indy’s.” Rory wrote.

What a beautiful and strong mum Joey was. To have the wisdom and foresight to see beyond her situation and give her daughter the best despite the circumstances.

The testimony is incredibly sad, and none of us know what we would have done had we been in Joey’s situation. But what we do know is Indy has an incredible bond with her dad and we have no doubt that this bond will help navigate through the waves of grief both now and in the future.