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Dad-To-Be Demands His Partner Give Birth Without Any Pain Relief at All

A heavily pregnant woman has taken to social media to vent after feeling “terrible” and stressed out due to her partner’s insistence that she forgoes any pain relief while giving birth to their child.

The mum-to-be explained she recently met with her midwife to go through her birth plan. While the midwife explained to the couple the effects of pain relief, they were informed that there’s a chance the drugs could make the baby a bit sleepy or drowsy too.

Hearing this new information, the woman’s partner “freaked out” and he immediately told her to refuse any pain relief as if he had any say in the matter.

In her now-deleted post on Mumsnet, she wrote: “I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant and I did my birth plan yesterday with the midwife. My partner was also in attendance at the appointment.

“All was going well until it got to the part where the midwife was explaining the different pain relief options available. The midwife informed us that some of them (epidural and pethidine) cross the placenta and therefore can have an effect on the baby, making them a bit sleepy/drowsy. I think this freaked my partner out a bit and he now wants me not to have any of these options.”

“This is now making me feel stressed as I know my pain threshold is low and feel that if I want to have pain relief then I should be able to have it. Also, women have been giving birth with pain relief for decades so is it really that big of a deal? I’m being made to feel terrible for wanting to accept pain relief during labour.”

Commenters on the Mumsnet post were quick to reassure the woman that it’s her body and therefore her choice, with many of them telling her that her partner doesn’t get a say in something that will ultimately make her feel more at ease when the time comes to deliver their baby.

One person said: “Your body, your choice. The end.”

Another added: “Have whatever pain relief you see fit. When he’s pushing a human out of his genitals he can decide. He gets zero say in this.”

“Millions of women have pain relief and their babies are thriving little bundles of joy. The drowsiness doesn’t last and has no long term ill effects,” wrote another mum.

Others assured her that the pain relief offered to her is safe for both herself and the baby, and said the most important thing is making sure she feels as comfortable as possible during labour.

How many words would you use to tell your partner that his opinion on your pain relief during childbirth isn’t welcome? I can think of only two!


Jill is a busy wife and mother of four young children. She loves nothing more than making people giggle, and loves to settle in with a glass of wine (or four) and wander about the internet. Feel free to follow her to see all the cool stuff she finds!

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