In news that would make even the most micro-managing parent out there shudder, a mum has made a social media post asking if other mothers out there have successfully established a family fart ban, or if it is just her?
“Other mommys out there, I need advice!!” her post begins.
“So basically what I’ve been doing in the house over the past few months is implementing a farting/flatulence “ban” in the main parts of the home. I use the spare bathroom for the two kids to go into when they need to fart and clean it every other day. If they need to pass gas at the dinner table they have to go there and if they’re in their bedroom they have to go down to the downstairs bathroom as well, (sometimes on occasion I’ll FaceTime them to make sure they’re doing it in the proper place lol) l just really believe it’s super unhygienic to pass gas. Close family believe my methods are strange but excuse me for not wanting airborne fecal matter around our sitting room and kitchen.
“Just wondering If anyone else does this? I feel like it should be a fairly common household rule”
What in the self-inflicted parenting hell is this?
I think my favourite part is her “Do you even have kids?” retort to someone telling her to calm down a tad.
Sure, there are a lot of things that you don’t really understand until you have children, but you don’t need kids to be qualified to give fart advice. We all have extensive experience in farting and being a child!
We have additional questions for this fart nazi:
- Does she perform impromptu smell checks?
- Is she on guard at all times in order to catch the sound of even the tiniest of fluffs?
- What does she do if someone burps in her general direction?
- Does she make sure all her guests know about the fart room too?
- Is there a “Fart Room” sign on the spare bathroom door?
So many questions, so few answers.