A Mum Shares The Unexpected Way Postpartum Depression Affected Her

Postpartum depression is one of the most common conditions that can be undiagnosed in a woman after she has given birth.

The symptoms like lack of sleep can be simply brushed off as the effects of having a new baby. That’s why it’s important for doctors to screen for the condition early.

But as Tova Leigh found, her symptoms were not as she expected and she took to Facebook to share her own experience to encourage mums who are going through PPD or who have been diagnosed as having PPD, that they will get through it.

On the 16th August, the blogger shared a photo of herself with her first baby when he was 4 months old.

Her caption described what was happening to her as a new mum, three months postpartum.

I was that mom who sat next to her baby’s cot for hours while she slept just to make sure they were still breathing.

Mike begged me to go to sleep and the only way he got me to agree was by promising to watch over her while I slept.

I kept waking to make sure he was still there, sitting by her cot, watching her asleep. I would open my eyes, see him and fall back into a haze of weird dreams about losing her or forgetting something really important.

Eventually, she would wake for a feed and I would feel relieved that I don’t have to fake sleep anymore and that I could go back to watching over her, because of course in my mind no one apart from me was able to do it properly.

She would feed and go back to sleep and I would stay awake.

I remember sitting there, shattered and broken and utterly exhausted but I just couldn’t let go.

The fear that something might happen to her, and the overwhelming love I felt made me completely crazy and although I knew I was being ridiculous – I just couldn’t help myself.

It felt like I was slowly losing my mind. Like everything was foggy and unreal. I felt alone and desperate and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. But mainly, I didn’t realize I needed help.

That’s what PPD looked like for me for the first three months after giving birth to my first baby.

The reason I am telling you this is because I want you to know the signs. I want you to know that for each woman, they may look different. I want you to look out for them, and look after the new momas, because they may need your help more than you think.

And ladies – please reach out and tell someone if you are suffering. There is no shame in asking for help.

You are not alone ♡

The post resonated with many mums as they all shared how they too can’t tear themselves away from watching their little ones.

The post received just under 3k reactions and was shared over 341 times.

One commenter wrote,

I was the same after my first born. Never slept, always watching and listening to him breathe. I took good care of him. But not myself. I did not realise i needed to. He was all that mattered. It wasn’t till three months later……when someone asked if i was ok. And i couldn’t answer. Because i did not know. Because i felt nothing. I love that you discuss things like this. So other mums know they are not alone. x

If you or a loved one are experiencing symptoms of postpartum depression, please see your GP or get in touch with PANDA or Beyond Blue.